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Thai and English are two very different languages.

Learning Thai is not as simple as taking the English word, translating it into Thai, and putting the sentence back together. Oftentimes a sentence in Thai is actually the backwards version of the English sentence, and several words like pronouns, conjunctions and functional grammar words (is, be, are, etc.) are not used when speaking Thai.

Sometimes I’ve noticed when I am speaking in Thai quickly incorrect words that sound similar to the correct English word somehow work their way into my Thai sentences, which really makes no sense at all. And many times, in casual conversations, I’ll be searching my brain for the Thai equivalent of a slang English word that just doesn’t exist.

But learning another language is all good fun. And I have come to realize that, though when communicating with native English speakers I might appreciate the wit and timing of a well placed sarcastic remark or phrase; when speaking with Thai people, most of the time I am extremely appreciative that I can even understand a little bit of what is going on in the conversations.

The best part about it, I find at least, is discovering that people are people no matter what they are talking about - and those little moments where the similarities and differences are highlighted through our speech patterns are quite amusing and remarkable to me. Here are some of my favourite communication memories: mixed up sentences, funny conversations, misused words, all translated into English for you.

Wrong word use:
First run with Jambee – speaking Thai.
Jackie: “Do you like running? How often do you run?”
Jambee: “I like running but no one here will run with me, so I don’t run. This is my first time. How often do you run?”
Jackie: “I want to run 4 times a week and you can come, you can run with me husband
Jambee: “Are you married?”
Jackie: “No. Huh?”
Jambee: “When do you want to run again?”
Jackie: “Tomorrow.”
Jambee: “Who will run with us?”
Jackie: “No one, just us, we will husband run together.”
*I thought I was saying “always” but I was saying “husband

In the forest with Chaleam – Chaleam mixing in a little English with his Thai.
Chaleam (in Thai): “I love helping people. I have many jobs here and people call me if they need help because they know I know the forest very well.”
Jackie (in Thai): “Yes, I know.”
Chaleam (in Thai then English): “If people want to see gibbons, I will show them. If tourists are lost in the forest, I go find them. I will go help them toilet.”
Jackie (Thai/English): “You mean you will go help the tourists?”
Chaleam: “Yes, sorry.”

In the forest with Surasack – speaking Thai.
*note the word for crocodile is ‘jolokeh’ the word for park ranger is ‘jownatee’
Jackie: “But the crocodiles exercise together, right?”
Surasack: “What?”
Jackie: “The crocodiles must exercise together to stay strong.”
Surasack: “Who?”
Jackie: “the crocodiles… no wait! The park rangers…The park rangers exercise together, right?”
… no response just uncontrollable laughter.

Amusing conversations:

In the car with Surasack – speaking Thai.
Surasack: “What is going on, why are we not going? I’m in the right gear.”
Jackie: “You have to turn the key first.”
Surasack: “Oh, right.”

In the forest with Surasack – speaking Thai.
Jackie: “Is water getting into your shoes through those holes?”
Surasack: “Yes, these shoes are no good.”
Jackie: “Do you want new shoes?”
Surasack (sarcastically): “Umm, YA!”

Watching monkeys with Surasack – speaking Thai.
Surasack: “What’s the new volunteer’s name?”
Jackie: “Wendy. Have you seen her yet?”
Surasack: “Wan dee (good day in Thai). Is she Thai?”
Jackie: “No, she’s Australian.”
Surasack: “But she has a Thai name… wan dee
Jackie: “Not good day, WEN-DY”

On the phone with Surasack – speaking Thai.
Jackie: “Where are you?! Why didn’t you go to work yesterday? I called and called, you didn’t answer.”
Surasack: “I know…”
Jackie: “When you don’t work people think you’re unreliable. They get upset. I keep telling you, you must call if you can’t work.”
Surasack: “I wanted to call…”
Jackie: “I am not mad. If you call ahead, I am not upset. But if you leave me waiting, then I get annoyed. And…”
Surasack: “Will you shut up and let me speak!”
Jackie: “Oh, sorry, go ahead.”

In the forest talking with Dtan – speaking Thai and English.
Dtan (in English): “I run on the running machine.”
Jackie (in English): “The running machine…Oh, a treadmill.”
Dtan (in English): “tread-mill.”
Jackie (in Thai): “What is the Thai word for ‘treadmill’?”
Dtan (in Thai and then English): “Kreung wing… running machine.”
Jackie: “Oh, I see.”

In the forest talking with Dtan – speaking Thai.
Jackie: “Do you understand when I say…”
Dtan: “I understand! I understand!”
Jackie: “I haven’t said anything yet.”
Dtan: “Oh.”

At the restaurant with Bahn – speaking Thai.
Jackie: “That guy was kind of attractive.”
Bahn: “Ya, you like guys with big bodies.”

Word order mishaps:

In the forest with Chaleam – speaking Thai.
Jackie: “Why aren’t the mosquitoes annoyed with you?”
Chaleam: “Do you mean, why am I not annoyed with the mosquitoes?”
Jackie: “yes.”

On national Thai TV explaining why tourists shouldn’t feed monkeys – speaking Thai.
Jackie: “Don’t give monkeys to food, it’s very dangerous”

A few days after the TV show aired, talking with Surasack – speaking Thai.
Jackie: “Did I speak correctly on the show?”
Surasack: “You did alright. But you said don’t give monkeys to food instead of don’t give food to monkeys.”
Jackie: “WHAT! Why didn’t anyone correct me?”

Comments

TN said…
“The crocodiles must exercise together to stay strong.” hahaha I was cracking up good one Jackie ;)
Optimus Prime said…
The best one is the last ones with the monkeys and food. "Don't give monkeys to food. That's what we know..."
Jackie said…
Bwwah ha ha ha.
Luckily they showed it just at the end while the final credits were running, so it wasn't necessarily 'part of the show.'

But when I did find that out, I had a good chuckle myself.

Especially since up to that point I had also been yelling "Don't give monkeys to food!" everytime a car pulled over at the side of the road to feed monkeys while I collect data... ha ha

No wonder they always look at me funny.

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