You know my life would be MUCH easier if humans just never invented cooking!!
Thank goodness for rice makers. Put rice in pot, add water, flick switch, and walk away. Done and Done!!
But I can only eat so much rice before I turn into some kind of crazy “Survivor” impersonator (minus the “emaciated beach glamour” look)... So every once in a while I attempt to ‘heat up’ something I’ve found at the grocery store.
I can barely cook Canadian food, so cooking Thai food is one step ABOVE impossible for me but I persevere.
Today I tried to make some premade pork buns. The directions are in Thai, but the pictures say it all:
Take the buns out of the package.
Put them in a pot.
Wait 8 minutes – steam lines indicate heat is present,
then consume.
Seems simple enough.
Until 8 minutes later (after my pork buns have basically disintegrated into the water I boiled for them), I realize that the picture indicates STEAM the pork buns, not BOIL the pork buns.
But this is all I have to eat. So quick fix, salvage what’s left by transferring globs of pork ball goo into the frying pan on full power till they dry out into crispy burned deliciousness. Then steam the next round of pork buns in the plastic strainer I have, since I have nothing with holes in it to steam food.
You know, if you put enough sweet chili sauce on, anything tastes good – even burned globs of pork bun goo.
Di-chan tam ah-han mai dee [I make food no good].
That was my weak explanation when my neighbour came by to find out what I was making.
People here love me because everything I do at the house is ridiculously hilarious:
1. I live alone
2. I have furniture for sitting on
3. I can’t cook. And,
4. I buy premade food at the grocery store rather than shopping at the local market.
All these things are extremely entertaining to them.
Oh and when they visit me, I can understand them when they speak Thai, but I have NO IDEA what they are saying when they are speaking English. That one REALLY makes them laugh.
But in my defense the other day my new friend Su-poon said, in English, “Good morning, Jackie.” Then paused and said “Fruitful.”
...fruitful? What was that about! He was so proud of himself and smiling so big. I just laughed. Good job for saying fruitful, my new friend. And he speaks English relatively clearly.
My other friend, Man, said “pizza” about 40 times in a row before I figured out he was speaking English. I thought he was saying “pi-sow” – which means older sister in Thai and I kept saying (in Thai) “What about your older sister? Why do you keep shouting older sister at me?"... oh man. Ha ha.
Man. Ya, I have a Thai friend named Man. Awesome! ...at least I’m building a strong sense of personal humility...and my neighbour takes pity on me and makes extra food often so I can eat. :)
You know, the 19 year old cook at the campsite restaurant keeps telling me we should run-away together and live happily ever after...perhaps I should take him up on his offer. We all already know I like younger men, ha ha. Hmmmm... Younger + Good Cook. Interesting development...
Jess says a 12 year age difference doesn’t matter, ha ha. ;)
Thank goodness for rice makers. Put rice in pot, add water, flick switch, and walk away. Done and Done!!
But I can only eat so much rice before I turn into some kind of crazy “Survivor” impersonator (minus the “emaciated beach glamour” look)... So every once in a while I attempt to ‘heat up’ something I’ve found at the grocery store.
I can barely cook Canadian food, so cooking Thai food is one step ABOVE impossible for me but I persevere.
Today I tried to make some premade pork buns. The directions are in Thai, but the pictures say it all:
Take the buns out of the package.
Put them in a pot.
Wait 8 minutes – steam lines indicate heat is present,
then consume.
Seems simple enough.
Until 8 minutes later (after my pork buns have basically disintegrated into the water I boiled for them), I realize that the picture indicates STEAM the pork buns, not BOIL the pork buns.
But this is all I have to eat. So quick fix, salvage what’s left by transferring globs of pork ball goo into the frying pan on full power till they dry out into crispy burned deliciousness. Then steam the next round of pork buns in the plastic strainer I have, since I have nothing with holes in it to steam food.
You know, if you put enough sweet chili sauce on, anything tastes good – even burned globs of pork bun goo.
Di-chan tam ah-han mai dee [I make food no good].
That was my weak explanation when my neighbour came by to find out what I was making.
People here love me because everything I do at the house is ridiculously hilarious:
1. I live alone
2. I have furniture for sitting on
3. I can’t cook. And,
4. I buy premade food at the grocery store rather than shopping at the local market.
All these things are extremely entertaining to them.
Oh and when they visit me, I can understand them when they speak Thai, but I have NO IDEA what they are saying when they are speaking English. That one REALLY makes them laugh.
But in my defense the other day my new friend Su-poon said, in English, “Good morning, Jackie.” Then paused and said “Fruitful.”
...fruitful? What was that about! He was so proud of himself and smiling so big. I just laughed. Good job for saying fruitful, my new friend. And he speaks English relatively clearly.
My other friend, Man, said “pizza” about 40 times in a row before I figured out he was speaking English. I thought he was saying “pi-sow” – which means older sister in Thai and I kept saying (in Thai) “What about your older sister? Why do you keep shouting older sister at me?"... oh man. Ha ha.
Man. Ya, I have a Thai friend named Man. Awesome! ...at least I’m building a strong sense of personal humility...and my neighbour takes pity on me and makes extra food often so I can eat. :)
You know, the 19 year old cook at the campsite restaurant keeps telling me we should run-away together and live happily ever after...perhaps I should take him up on his offer. We all already know I like younger men, ha ha. Hmmmm... Younger + Good Cook. Interesting development...
Jess says a 12 year age difference doesn’t matter, ha ha. ;)
Comments